I was saddened to read that Council Member Terry Parish has indicated he will no longer partake in commenting on the blog.
As for some of the comments made on the blog about Terry's personal life, I'm sorry that was the main impetus for his decision. However----who could blame him?
It was only a couple months ago that I got to sit and talk to Terry for the first time since he became a Council Member. Terry knows that he and I disagree on almost every issue of concern to the Oro Valley citizens. However, I made it a point to let him know----for whatever it was worth, that I respected the fact that he stood up and made it perfectly clear where he stood on every issue.
I used the word "perception" in my conversation with Terry. The fact is, I, and many others perceived his actions and mannerisms in a way that showed disdain to others. I think Terry understood that, and may have even consciously tried to change
We are now through a good part of the run-off election between Terry & Barry Gillaspie, and in two weeks we will know which candidate is victorious.
Should it be Terry, we hope he'll be more receptive to the points of view of his constituents. If Barry prevails, we hope Terry will have more free time to spend with his family, which, in the long run, is probably more important anyway.
If Terry does not get re-elected---which would probably be best for him, I hope he'll see fit to "come back" and offer is opinion as "citizen Parish." Certainly, he'll be welcome.
21 comments:
While, I, too, have disagreed with much of Terry Parish's positions, and have stated as much, I have found Terry to be a warm, caring, and dedicated individual. If Terry should win the runoff election, he will have my full support, and a more 'earthy' discourse, for me, will be in order. If he does not prevail, I believe that he has much to offer this community and I would like to see him in a niche that would preclude controversy and perhaps be more amenable to his efforts. Whatever, Terry, my sincere appreciation for you , the man.
The only word that comes to mind regarding the initial post and the one response is:
HYPOCRITICAL
Don Cox--- Terry Parish earned the respect of others. You couldn't buy the respect from others!
I decided to transfer my last post on this issue over to this section in case anyone missed it.
Well, I think it's really sad that Terry decided to leave this site because certain people kept badgering him about his personal life. He was the only council member who kept a dialog going with us (using his real name) and you should all have appreciated that.
My feeling is that he was placed in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. If he DIDN'T respond to the constant allegations about his personal life, then he appeared to be "guilty as charged." If he DID respond to the allegations and clarified everything, then he was forced to reveal personal family issues that were none of anyone's business and only served to make his current wife and his ex's and his children uncomfortable.
He called himself a "family man" and suddenly everyone is dissecting the words and using them against him. Good grief! Maybe "family man" simply meant that he is a human being with the same feelings and desires as the rest of us and the same connection to family as the rest of us. Why some people felt a need to attack that is beyond me.
You're choosing a council person not a spouse. You had a 4-year history of voting records to defend or attack in order to make your decision. But unfortunately some people just can't stick to the issues and they have to "create" issues where there are none.
Terry supporting Vestar: Issue.
Terry implying that Salette was promoting pornography: Issue.
Terry wanting to spend millions of tax dollars for a town park: Issue.
Terry being married 3 times: Non-issue.
To better illustrate why voting based on non-issues is a bad idea, look at the results from the last time Americans voted based on THIS non-issue..."he's someone I could sit down and have a beer with."
I voted for Gillaspie based on a variety of issues, but I still wish Terry the best and thank him for all his contributions to this site.
Thank you, Terry, for participating in our blog. I certainly hope you will continue to present your views regardless of the election's outcome.
I was told by a friend that "there is no peace in politics". How true.
I also think that Terry will still read this blog and put his two cents in if he feels strongly about the topic.
I will admit that I tend to hold elected and public officials to a higher standard. Not saying that is fair, but I expect a lot and boy am I disappointed a lot. :)
I will give Terry a lot of credit for answering the question, but was really surprised that he went into such detail.
If his post is troubling to anybody Terry can delete it or ask that it be deleted.
Cowgirl...
I left a somewhat lengthly posting in response to yours however it seems to have disappeared.
I wonder how that could have happened???
Allow me to introduce myself. I am wife #2 and have never posted on this blog until Monday night.
I would like at this point to set the record straight.
Terry responded on Monday night with his final post because I asked him to.
I myself was quite surprised that he responded to all of this nonsense initially but agree with Victorian Cowgirl's assessment that he was in a damned if I do damned if I don't situation.
But he did respond and I felt that the response regarding our marriage was not appropriate and hurtful to me and more importantly my children. I asked him to set the set the record straight since he had chosen to open that door.
He did and I respect him for that.
Now he bails from the blog and you all shake your heads and go "what? Why?" Geez Terry you didn't HAVE to give out so much personal information.
What you really mean is whoops pushed him to far, NOW who are we gonna play with?
Mscoyote I'm sorry I'm gonna pick on you a little bit as an example.
These are DIRECT quotes from you all in the same blog thread.
“How many times have you been married? This has been discussed before on this blog and not sure what the truth is.
So have you been married three times or not"
"So he really set the pace and now he can't answer a simple question about how many times he has been married.
I don't know about the rest of the posters or readers but the decision to get married is one of the biggest decisions I ever made.
It is a commitment!!!!!!!!"
" What I meant to say was that your marriage record was not a factor in my vote. I deleted my post because I typed that it did factor in my decision(typo) I just strongly disagree with you on a few issues that are really important to me.”
My question- if his marriage record was not a factor, why did you keep asking the question? Again, damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
Previously to all of this I agreed as most do that anyone that holds a political office should be held to personal scrutiny.
And quite frankly think Terry deserves some of the criticism regarding campaign donations and Vestar and the perceptions of some of his mannerisms. These are valid questions that should be asked and answered in order to make an informed vote.
Although I seriously question whether ANYTHING that he said could change your minds or your votes and told him that.
The problem with these types of blogs is that they tend to operate with a pack mentality and can get out of hand rather quickly.
However, in opening the door regarding his marriages and the CONSTANT reference to Public Records, my privacy was invaded and in so doing the chance of my children being affected was all to real and that was not something I could allow.
This is after all, nothing more than a local town election for Pete’s sake.
Thank you for your time.
Hello #2
Just to give you some history on this issue, I was not the poster who initiated this discussion.about your husband's personal life.
This has been going on for a while and as far as I know the public record info about court cases, etc was deleted.
And Yes I did ask very DIRECTLY, how many times Terry had been married. All he had to do was say Yes or No or just not answer.
And what the heck is wrong with me posting that the decision to get married was one of the most important decisions I ever made.
YES I feel that way and YES commitment and loyalty are important to me.
You seem to be reading something more in my answer, so be it.
You asked me why I asked the question, I sort of got tired of all the talk about the marriages, etc., so I just asked.
Perhaps to you this is just a local town election, but for some of us who put our life's savings into homes here, it is more.
Mscoyote,
Thank you for your response. I will in turn respond to you and then I am done with this nonsense.
1) Terry is not my husband he is my FORMER husband.
2) You commented that the public info record reference was deleted, it was not. It is in that post and made by "Native Spirit" go back and read it.
3) My point, which you obviously missed was if the number of times he was married did not factor into your decision, why ask the question. It's none of your business and you contradicted yourself in the post.
4) I can certainly appreciate that you put your life savings into your homes in Oro Valley, however, with all due respect my childrens welfare is more important to me and you Madam stepped over the line.
There are CHILDREN involved in this- Let it go.....
Peace out!!
#2
1. Ok
2. Wrong, I am talking about things oosted a few months ago by a poster who has since disappeared by the name of OV Web Sleuth or a similar name.
Those posts were deleted.
3. I got your point
4. My posts on this blog did not cause the problem. Actions or choices by the parties involved affected your childrens welfare.
You need to look at who posted all the personal info.
It is still a free country and any of us can ask a question.
Your ex-husband could have just anwered yes or no and also could have just not answered
If you are so concerned about the children involved then why keep posting. You can also let it go.
Nobody asked you to put my welfare above the welfare of your children.
Chill out yourself lady
I sincerely hope Art and OV Websleuth are especially proud of themselves.
I have always advocated on behalf of having fact on your side and sticking to issues. Some of you who now want to act pius and innocent responded exactly as Art intended and in a manner that is aptly described as "pack mentality".
In my previous post, WHICH DISAPPEARED, I stated that the initial post should have never been allowed to remain.
It is not a good day for the LOVE blog.
Pardon the missing "o"
Don Cox--- Stop making false comments about me or every comment you post will "disappear."
Some months ago I unilaterally opted to remove what I felt were comments about Terry Parish that weren't appropriate for this blog.
You were previously warned that this blog will not put up with your personal attacks.
Make no mistake about this!
Art....Remove any post I make if you wish, as you did the one I posted this morning. It is your option. It will not change the truth.
However, I will not stand by and allow you to go unchallenged when you are incorrect or make statements that are patently false. I would have hoped that the truth and fact were the intent of your blog. I emphasize the word "hoped"
You allowed the initial post in question to stay up until it served your purpose and that was, and is, to discredit in any way possible, Terry Parish. Only after you caught so much heat did you decide to remove it. THAT'S THE FACTS.
The other FACT is that you will allow personal attacks as long as they fit into your agenda. The post by Zev is a perfect example.
Either be willing to stand the heat when it comes or simply state that this blog is a partisian publication and that anything that is not part of your personal agenda may very well be deleted.
AT THE LEAST, BE HONEST WITH FOLKS about the intent of LOVE. It can be a positive force in the community.
And as a follow up to my previous post, Art, I would be more than happy to meet with you to discuss our mutual concerns. It may be beneficial for both of us to sit and chat about those issues that seem to raise your blood pressure.
Don
Don Cox--- I do not have high blood pressure and have no interest in meeting with you. When you start speaking the truth, perhaps, then we can meet.
Ms. Coyote,
I hope you'll still be speaking to me after I say this but I disagree with you on something.
You said all Terry had to do was "say yes or no or just not answer." My recollection was that he was asked this question numerous times by many different people and he kept choosing to NOT ANSWER and they kept choosing to KEEP ASKING. So "not answering" never made the issue go away.
I believe that if he had also tried simply answering, "Yes, I'm on my third marriage" that this would still not have been the end of the discussion. More questions would have followed, more accusations, more suspicions.
I believe there are certain people on this site (not you) who had a personal agenda to make his life miserable. It's all junior high school mentality to me.
I don't think this is what Art had in mind when he started this website. Wasn't it supposed to be about intellectual discussion and the sharing of ideas? It only took a couple of people to turn it into a soap opera.
"V Cowgirl"--- Yes. You are correct. It was disappointing that there were too many comments that didn't need to need to be made---specifically as it pertained to Terry Parish.
I recently spoke to Terry, and personally apologized. He acknowledged it wasn't me that needed to apologize. Having said that, irrespective of Mr Cox making false accusations as to my motives, Terry knew and appreciated my intentions. This is notwithstanding my totally opposite beliefs in most of Terry's positions.
Hopefully, we have seen the end of ANY PERSONAL attacks from all of our bloggers.
Let there be no misunderstanding. Anyone who wishes to comment here is welcome, as long as the aforementioned credo is adhered to.
Thank you.
Art
Howdy Cowgirl.
Still speaking to you : )!!!
I did not want to post anything more about all this.
You can blame me for asking but I will not take the blame for causing problems or the discomfort
that the answer supposedly caused.
I think that was misdirected.
I don't really recall posters just asking the question in a direct manner. But you might be right, maybe they did.
So I don't want to post about it anymore unless somebody pushes me like they did in a previous post.
For me again I will say I was surprised at all the info provided .
People need to make up their own minds what they think of all this.
To the people who badgered Terry until he was forced to leave this site, I have this to say:
Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Can we all get back to discussing ideas and town "events" now?
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