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Remember the comedy routines of Monty Python some years back? They pointed out that it was common logic for the government to “steal from the rich and give to the poor” but they proposed that it is equally logical to “steal from the poor and give to the rich.” It must follow that the “Greenies” are devoted to the Python Doctrine since they demanded and expected that the entire town should get robbed so they can enjoy the luxuries of Country Club living.
But perhaps there is a way to easily satisfy everyone…
Thinking ahead, what about all the poor unwashed “non-member” golfers. They deserve a break as well. So just raise the dedicated sales tax from a half-cent to a full one cent. Now they are also in the Rich Class and happy!
On further thought, what about all the poor souls in the fitness classes, or those who play tennis or pickleball, or those who enjoy archery or swimming. They deserve a break as well. So simply raise the dedicated tax to 5 cents. Problem solved. Now all the physical recreation in Oro Valley would be completely free for everyone to enjoy.
Now we have a town of perfect harmony and no neighborhood fights. Mission accomplished.
Oh wait. I almost forgot this one. What about the hundreds of soccer moms, baseball moms, and football families? Or families with children in other youth programs. Surely, they can’t be left out of this package. So, raise the dedicated sales tax to 8 cents so every recreational need is met in this wonderful and caring place called Oro Valley.
And who can forget the “Once Was” crowd -- every Oro Valley resident whose home once was surrounded by beautiful desert views and all the wildlife that lived there, but who have now lost their tranquility and property values to wealthy land speculators and developers. We can’t leave these poor souls out of the equation. So let’s raise the dedicated sales tax to 10 cents and use this revenue to subsidize their property taxes. It’s the least we can do.
Now we are all in the Rich Class. Everybody wins!
